Not until recently when I read about the twin brothers, Ronnie and Reggie Kray, who had secret incestuous relationship with each other so criminal rivals would not discover they were gay, I never knew or imagined people could be born this way or same sex attraction could be genetics. I used to think it’s a habit or fetishes of people who just wanted to experiment and carry out their $exual fantasies.
Another is that of New Jersey twins, Alex Brown and Jason Osbourne, who were separated at birth and adopted by different families, only to meet themselves for the first time at a modelling agency and an intimate love affair began between them. A DNA test was conducted for them after friends kept insisting they went for it due to their striking resemblance which turned out to be that they were actually brothers-twins!
My BFF who has been under pressure to get married informed me that he can’t keep up with the pretence anymore. He wants to come out of the closet. His dad due to his exposure and enlightment may support him but he knows his mum will never accept because she isn’t as open minded or liberal as his dad.
I am really thinking of how we can go about this, my friend deserve to be himself. He deserves to be happy. He is a very lively man, he is intelligent and cool. I got to know him during the mandatory one year NYSC program for Nigerian graduates of tertiary institutions.
We got into an argument on the relevance of the scheme and he gave me so many reasons backing them up with facts. I got to like the young man and after that we exchanged contacts and kept in touch. We discovered our offices weren’t too far as well.
We spent our lunch breaks and spent our after work hours together. We got so close and people felt we were dating but we actually weren’t. Being the loquacious fellow I was I asked him if he was not a little bit attracted to me?
He laughed and told me, “Bee I am gay, I checked out guys not girls”. I laughed aloud and refused to believe him. He never gave me the gay vibe. This man is a woman’s man. He is macho and not one single effeminate side. I asked him how come? What happened was he abused as a child or during his teen years?
He kept on laughing and told me he was born this way naturally. He is attracted to men same way I (a lady) am. He is a normal homosexual man. We spoke at length and I got to learn so much about LGBT community that night.
Funny enough he always reminded me of Tom Ford. He is always well turned out. We go shopping together and he always encouraged me to dress classic. He chooses nice dress always.
He helped my fashion life. He helped my general life. He encouraged me to read more and keep an open mind to everything about life.
I became a neutralist, I hardly jump into conclusions. In short Michael made me a better person, a well educated young lady, objective and emphatic human. He was always playing devil’s advocate. My friend is the best.
Alas, I live in a society where being gay is frowned on, cross dressers are demonized and here is my friend threatening to come out of the closet. We have been trying to seek a solution for the past four months.
He is desperately trying to live his truth. I have told him you cannot run away from your sexuality. He needs to face it. Maybe the society will never accept him, maybe his mother might reject him, maybe his family might disown him, and maybe everyone will disown him.
I do know it won’t be easy for him. But I have told him he shall overcome this someday, somehow-perhaps in an equal environment far from his home!
I’ve noticed that most straight Nigerian men have an extremely low tolerance for gay men. In fact, they are most likely to be extremely hostile to a gay man who dares to make a pass at them.
I’ve read some social media comments where straight guys have threatened to “burst the lips” or even kill any gay guy who dares to touch them ‘funny.’
We need to be open and accepting of all in our society. People’s sexuality has nothing to do with their friendship. Their sexuality will not improve our economy, it is not in our place to judge them and find them wanting all because of their sexuality.
Even though the constitution of my country (Nigeria) makes provision for a maximum of 14 years jail term for people found to have been engaged in any form of homosexual activities, there have been some reported cases of homosexual practices by the media.
One among them is that of a recent beauty queen from the eastern part of Nigeria who was filmed in the act and the video shared online by people she perceived as witch hunters, and also that of Kogi State University located in central Nigeria.
Punishing an adult for his sexuality doesn’t sit well with me. As far as he isn’t a pedophile or a rapist. He isn’t a sexual predator I see no reason demonizing him. His life his choice. The religiosity and hypocritical nature of our society needs to stop. We need to focus on more pressing issues and not sexuality.
What do I know? I guess I am just rambling too much because I love my friend too much. Maybe because I feel he is being stifled by my society. I need to stop thinking too much as well.
****This article was originally sent in by an anonymous blog visitor and the story is about her friend. Names have been changed for purpose of reading.****