As long as men and women work in close proximity, there will always be an opportunity to develop a romantic office flirting and start ”seeing each other” outside the work environment. Also, knowing those signs co-workers are dating secretly is a matter of time, investigation and patience to confirm your observations. As a hopeless romantic, that I have become. I do so love love.
While still working at my former place of work, there was this special affection or attachment my immediate superior had for this new staff who’d recently only joined the company.
I noticed some calculative movements they both made and how suddenly he stopped requesting for his lunch to be provided by one of the office janitors responsible for it but passed that role to ‘’his new found love’’ even when it wasn’t in her job’s description.
While he was (still is) married, she was single and had only recently before joining the company finished her compulsory one year National Youth Service Corps, NYSC. I knew then she couldn’t be more than 21 years of age and still very naive when it came to relationship (don’t know about now).
While I was trying to unravel the connection between them, another colleague who already understood ‘’the game being played’’ and had seen them in some uncompromising positions couple of times, hinted me how he’d been watching them and very convinced they had something going on (hey, I take my job seriously but sometimes there are side attractions around you which you can’t help but to take notice of).
Back to my story, one faithful Saturday however, another colleague from the I.T department who had been working tirelessly to upgrade some files in the company’s website or so, rushed down to his office and while working he heard some noises from the office above him which was my boss’s.
Out of curiosity and wondering who could be there (after all, it was a weekend meant for rest), he summoned courage to get there while tiptoeing not to create any noise.
As he got closer, he recognized the voices as that of my boss’s and the newly employed hot chick. After proper confirmation however that they weren’t thieves who broke in, he left to finish his work silently without creating a noise to disturb the love birds.
On his way he inquired from the security man about the two love birds and the security man confirmed to him that they came into the building even before him (the I.T guy).
Though the newly employed lady was old enough to decide what she wants, my I.T colleague’s fear was that, it wasn’t the right time for her to get into any distraction with her official duties: her career had just started and before you know it an appraisal may be required.
Some few weeks after that incidence, my immediate boss included her name among those of us meant to attend a business retreat conference which she wasn’t qualified to attend. He was able to convince other senior departmental managers and directors that as a new employee there was the need to get her acquainted with things like attending such conferences in time, hmmmmm!
How their office love went on later, I wouldn’t know as I changed jobs few weeks after that.
Workplace romantic affairs occur secretly in virtually all companies and organizations globally between and among colleagues. Co-workers are always attracted to each other in one way or the other. Truth is, something usually brings these ”office spouses” together and even when no one seem to understand, there are always signs co-workers are dating secretly.
Even though most companies and organizations frown at it as it affects productivity and may also be against the policy of the organization, it doesn’t stop these office flirting among employees.
Some employees have found their life partners while working together. Love just happens and it led to the altar. There are good stories and also sad stories too.
Sometimes people are motivated not because of the huge check they receive during pay day, but by something or someone else in the place of work.
How Do Office Romantic Affairs Begin Between Co-workers?
A cousin to a friend of mine who was lucky enough to secure a good paying job just right after the mandatory one year National Youth Service Corps, NYSC, confirmed that he started cheating on his less than 1 year marriage with a colleague when they were both paired to carry out a project. (For my foreign readers, NYSC is a one year compulsory paramilitary service to Nigeria for all graduates of colleges and universities).
Accordingly, since the project took the both of them away from their homes for the almost three weeks, it made them spent lots of time together, having launch and dinners during free time and the bond between them started to grow unknowingly.
This led to discussion on issues that where hitherto private to each other, then the advices came from both of them on how to go about handling issues with their legal spouses back home, trying to know what they both liked, commending each other’s dressing and daily appearances in the morning, sending each other harmless text messages which later turned out to romantic messages and boooooooom- they got intimate secretly and a new romantic door was opened into their lives: that of a Secret Office Extramarital Affair!
Nearly all affairs follow very specific patterns. They generally fall into four stages:
- Developing a close emotional bond (talking, chatting on the Internet),
- Keeping the relationship a secret,
- Dating phase (meeting for lunch, dinner, attending social functions etc), and
- Intense sexual and emotional liaisons.
Most office flirting and cheating starts in this manner-harmless.
I can remember vividly telling a friend that once my future husband starts staying late and complaining of stress in the office, I will simply ask him ‘’who is she’’?
Signs Co-Workers Are Dating Secretly
- All of a sudden they start working late hours
- Agreeing or opting out to represent the company for any business meeting.
- If married, when your partner travels frequently for ”business trips” or when your partner isn’t confiding in you the way you feel he/she should.
- They leave the office not together but always some few minutes apart.
- They avoid eye contacts and avoid each other during official hours.
- Sudden care for how they look and trying to appear better for the other to notice.
- (For the married). When your partner starts buying new lingerie and sexy under wears, that is a clear sign he or she could be having an Office extramarital affairs with a co-worker.
Some Basic Facts About Office Romance between Co-Workers.
- An individual with an 8-5 pm job will be spending at least 45 hours weekly at the office and thus, when you consider the number of hours you spend at the office with co-workers: all the shared projects, successes, stresses, emotional ups and downs, and any other difficulties at work, an attraction may start building up.
- All of these close interactions and relations allow you to get to know another individual you work with, which if care, maturity, respect for your spouse back home and self-control do not come to play in one’s thoughts, can lead to not only strong friendships but emotional attachments which are outside of your committed relationship.
- In my opinion, I can conclude that most spouses spend more time with their co-workers than with their partners because the office is a place most of us exhibit some form of spirit and release some energy of freedom to other colleagues.
- If you are paired with someone of the opposite sex and the both of you get along very well with your official chores, there are tendencies that you start watching out for each other’s back and start becoming closer as time goes by.
So let me read from you and kindly add any experience in the comment section on Signs co-workers are dating secretly.