Let’s have a mental picture of a priest dating or about to get married to a stripper. He works in religious institution while she is employed to dance seductively and naked in a bar. I guess you all would say it’s impossible and even if they make it to the alter, that union may head for collapse sooner than later because they lack relationship compatibility, right?
Sometimes, opposite attracts and that’s not really a good thing because being too different can lead to conflict. Truth is, they both can’t even date each other in the first place, not because they may not like each other but because a natural ingredient that must be in any relationship will be lacking- compatibility!
Over the weekend, my sister and I overheard two ladies discussing about a third friend of theirs whose marriage just got packed up. From their discussions which was audible to our ears because we sat close to their table, i learnt that the marriage was barely six months after they walked down the aisle. The slimmer of the two ladies was so furious because countless times she’d told her friend not to enter the union because she saw somethings which the friend didn’t see or refused to see, apparently blinded by love.
The one narrating the sad story explained how she tried to convince her friend not to settle down with the man, citing that they weren’t compatible or fit as couples, the differences between them were so much, they hardly agreed on anything, and even though they were both highly educated with each of them having a Master’s degree and with good jobs, their level of incompatibility was obvious and visible to many people. The painful aspect of it was that, some members of the lady’s family knew this problem but they were like,”he’s the only available man who is serious about settling down”- how could he be the only man for her?
As we left the the eatery, my sister asked me if i could remember one of her friends whose wedding ceremony she attended in December of 2014 somewhere in southern Nigeria? Before i could mention the lady’s name, she dropped the bombshell that the marriage has also packed up.
To say i was shocked would be an understatement.
”What happened?” i asked
”Up till today no one knows what transpired between them that led to the break up, but what i know is that it was a marriage with a foundation built on lies from both sides right from the beginning, they weren’t meant to be as couple in the first place”, she replied.
Relationship compatibility is a natural alignment of lifestyle choices and values between two people. A friend once told me how he was pissed with his fiancee for being an introvert. Except marriage ceremonies, attending church programs and going to the saloon once or twice in a month, she hardly steps out of her home.
She could be in her room for a day and no one would know someone is inside. While he on the other side happens to be an outgoing guy who loves to party and very sociable. She was the exact opposite of his nature. His pain was that sometimes he likes to have her around him while at the bar with other friends. These two as i later got to learn never made it to the alter because they both felt they were totally different people- Of course they are different people that weren’t compatible, simple!
Compatibility is key in relationships-fact!
Achieving relationship compatibility often means thinking outside your comfort zone.When your looks are gone (of course they will surely go one day) will your partner still be there? Relationship compatibility is important because the superficial things that may have initially caught your attention will not last forever.
Waist lines expand, hair thins, and skin wrinkles (unless you have the money to hire a really good plastic surgeon). Shared interests and a solid friendship with your partner is what will survive the test of time. Compatibility usually corresponds to long term relationships.
As you all may know, there is no single individual on earth that will appear complete or perfect in your eyes just as you want your partner to be in every way. What you can look for when hoping to find relationship compatibility is someone who is ready to open to trying new things, to hearing feedback and to evolving themselves.
How you fit together, how you stand up for the other, sharing of common interests, emotional compatibility etc, are some of the ways to know if two people are love compatible.
All we hear these days on the internet is one’s marriage crashing for one reason or the other, and sometimes i wonder how did our grandfathers and grandmothers in the past able to have long lasting marriages? Is it that they didn’t encounter or face troubles? Why is the rate of divorce shooting high like skyscrapers these days? What is the 21st century couple lacking?
Celebrities and high profile personalities are the worst of them all, today they are so in love with each other, pasting their love stories along with pictures of places they visited for romantic dates all over the net, making one think they are blessed and truly in love, only to wake again another day to hear the relationship/marriage between the yesterday lovers have hit the rocks. What happened? You hear, ”it’s due to irreconcilable differences”? What’s irreconcilable for goodness sake that you can’t reconcile? These people forget lots of folks look up to them as role models.
Is it that we fail to understand the actual meaning of marriage or so immature to go into it or what?
Jim Palmer, a business coach and a motivational speaker posted a picture of himself and his wife to mark their 36th wedding anniversary early this year, with some short, beautiful but inspiring words concerning the choice of partner one should get married to. Yeah, i found it interesting.
This love story is worthy of emulation, especially in this 21st century where it seems the essence of marriage has no more meaning and has lost it’s touch and value. To think that they are from the United States of America, the headquarters of today’s world where everything happens, amazes me. Yet, they have survived all the hassles that break up a peaceful union between two people.
According to him,
”Today Stephanie and I celebrate 36 years of marriage! When I was a teenager my dad told me that it’s important to marry someone that you have a lot in common with and actually like being with because the ‘newness and initial excitement’ won’t last forever. Smart man! I’m so blessed to have married my best friend. #Blessed #Family”.
Thus, in conclusion, according to researcher and mental health expert, Dr john M Grohol, timeless and punctuality, money and spending, cleanliness and orderliness, sex and intimacy, religion and spirituality, are some of the many reasons relationships break up bothering on compatibility. Try to know your partner very well and be sure you both are compatible to a greater percentage on the scale.
So, let me read your thoughts on this and also add yours.