Weight is something most people (especially women) find insulting to their person, be it a slim, chubby or overweight individual. No one likes to be referred to using his or her weight to describe him or her, it’s so derogatory! It kills ones happiness at that moment and even confidence.
As a child growing up, I got teased about my feeble weight, most times I didn’t know how to react but I would always wish I was a bit fleshy or plump like my friends. I didn’t like my stature at all, never… They made me felt I was odd or probably not eating good food. One annoying thing i experienced back then was; any time on the playground with other young girls and boys in the neighbourhood and the issue of weight comes up, I would be the topic of that discussion and i couldn’t wait for such topic to get over with.
While that happened, there was this cute little boy who was same age like me and was from a very wealthy home. He was plump in size and bigger than most his age mates. I got shocked when he was also being referred to as ‘’fatty bum bum’’, a three worded statement used by kids in referring to someone on the bigger side. Within me, I was confused because here I was being referred to as ”thin”, while someone is being referred to as fat, so what’s the normal size of an individual? I wondered.
I have always been a slim lady and always the slimmest in any gathering with my friends at any age grade. Sometimes, even up till present day, I still get teased for my slimness especially at my place of work, but the only change between now and my childhood teasing is that, I always smile back at my colleagues and reply them of how proud I am with myself. Yes, I have to love myself first before the world does. In countries like USA, the UK, Canada and other advanced nations of the world, I know ladies would commend me for being a natural size seven, at least for now.
According to Vanessa Traquiar, who got bullied for being naturally skinny her whole life; picking on someone because they are slim should be as socially unacceptable as being rude about someone who is fat.
Can you imagine saying to someone who is overweight and tucking into a burger: “Yeah you look like you REALLY need that!” Or calling a stranger or even a friend “fatty”, “lardy”, “chubby” or any other derogatory term used to describe those who are overweight?
Well, “skeleton”, “Twiggy”, “stick insect” – I’ve had them all. And I hate it. Yet people seem to think it’s acceptable to tell me I should eat more or comment on how lucky I am as I have a slice of chocolate cake.
One thing most women all over the world is conscious of is WEIGHT size. We are so sensitive about lots of things around us but the weight thing is something that has its own weight on us. We are always, always conscious of it. We want to look good and have that perfect body sizes like the models we see on billboards and television adverts, forgetting the fact that most of these pictures we admire have been doctored and filtered to give that idea of perfection and look. Of course, what do you expect a brand to do when putting on a product for advert and needs patronage?
People come in all shapes and sizes. The human body has a tremendous capacity for variation, which is why everyone looks different. Someone may not be happy with how they look, they may feel they need some serious changes, or somewhere in between, but all things being equal the only opinion that should matter is your very own opinion and not PEOPLE. You can heed to the advice of someone who cares about you for the need to make some life style changes that should be purely on your health needs and not because they want you to be like this or that.
There is this deep seated need by women to be accepted in everything or anywhere we find ourselves. In our desperation to meet our body goals, we result to so many unhealthy habits like skipping meals or regulating all edible food and these sometimes result or lead us to develop eating disorders like anorexia and bulimia, all because we fight to be like someone in an advert we have seen.
We compound our woes when we let other people’s opinion override ours. If you have seen no reason to be bothered about yourself, then you should see no reason to be bothered too when someone says your weight isn’t perfect. Learn to see yourself as the very ideal of perfection and people will see you as one.
Yes, I have also fought these weight demons while growing up to be the lady I am today, but after an 18-year-old young Nigerian, Agbani Darego, in 2001 got crowned as Miss World at the 51st Miss World pageant held in Sun City, South Africa, I told myself she is just like me in size (not height) and the whole wide world is celebrating her. She was chosen from 93 contestants from all over the world.
I asked myself some questions about this weight shaming thing as I discovered it’s their own insecurities they try to project on me. I was finally free and the weight was lifted from my shoulders. I constantly tell myself I am beautiful and perfect, yes I am!
I am so proud of plus size women who are models and not so introverted about their weight. Each time I see adverts about plus size women, walking the walkaways of fashion shows or posing for a photo shoot for a particular clothing line for their sizes, I get excited watching them. These are the type of women that motivate me because they know something most people don’t know and that is- your size shouldn’t limit you in pursuing your goals in life. There is no reason for other people to make me feel ashamed of myself until I do so.
I read somewhere concerning a lady, she narrated how she was constantly reminded of her weight by her mother and grandmother. Funny enough, these women were moderately overweight but they kept telling her of how fat she was, not just fat but horribly fat. What kind of mother and grandmother does that to a young child? According to her, these women were the most important people in her life and for that reason she believed them.
But the reality was that she was just an average sized child, not thin, not fat, just healthy and average. After a while, “I’m so fat” started playing in her head and before she knew it, it eventually took over and she did become horribly fat. At the age of 51, she was pushing up against 400 lbs.
‘’What I would say to those who point fingers and shout, “Fat!” including my late mother and grandmother, is, “Shut up’’. Stop putting your own body image issues onto others. We know if we weigh more than 120 lbs. We get it that you think we’re fat. Fat is not the worst thing that can happen to a person. Your bullying isn’t acceptable. We’ll lose weight when and if we are ready.” She concluded.
‘’The ability to pursue your goals in life is a function and readiness of your mind and not by size. Beauty isn’t between a size zero and a size eight. It is not a number at all and it is not physical’’.
So, let me read your thoughts on this and also add yours.